A few weeks ago, Pete preached a sermon with this same title during the "Greater" message series at www.Crosspoint.tv. The ideas are still ruminating in my mind and heart, and I'm actually listening to it again as I write this.
In the car after church that day, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretentious. I've been asking myself the same question over the past couple of weeks. And as I think about it, I realize that pretention has become a part of my very being.
My pretention is not toward others. It's toward myself. I pretend that I'm better than I am, that I have less issues than I do. And in actuality, what I'm doing is hiding from myself. I'm hiding my insecurities, my frustrations, my sadness, my happiness. I'm pushing away the glimmers of truth--whether they be amazingly joy-filled or desperately sorrowful. I'm becoming more and more numb to my own life.
And I don't want it. I don't want to live in a numbed stupor--whether I numb myself by avoidance, eating or ignorance. I don't want people to see me pretending to be something else.
"You are already a person who is deeply pleasing to God."
Everything about me--the core of who I am--already pleases God. After all, He made me, right? Did he not mean to make me the way I am? Did He not give me emotions to walk through? Did he not give me convictions to share? Did he not give me a family to fully love? Did he not allow me imperfections in this life so that I can see his goodness "in the land of the living"?
What am I thinking trying to hide everything about who I am? It is for His glory that he has created me. I am called to live life to the fullest--it is a gift from the Creator of this world. Whatever my life is full of in the moment, I'm called to live it--not stuff it, ignore it or numb it.
So back to authenticity. Back to reality. Back to imperfections and joyous occasions. Back to real life.