Saturday, July 5, 2014

Authenticity > Pretentiousness

A few weeks ago, Pete preached a sermon with this same title during the "Greater" message series at  The ideas are still ruminating in my mind and heart, and I'm actually listening to it again as I write this. 

In the car after church that day, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretentious.  I've been asking myself the same question over the past couple of weeks.  And as I think about it, I realize that pretention has become a part of my very being.

My pretention is not toward others.  It's toward myself.  I pretend that I'm better than I am, that I have less issues than I do.  And in actuality, what I'm doing is hiding from myself.  I'm hiding my insecurities, my frustrations, my sadness, my happiness.  I'm pushing away the glimmers of truth--whether they be amazingly joy-filled or desperately sorrowful.  I'm becoming more and more numb to my own life.

And I don't want it.  I don't want to live in a numbed stupor--whether I numb myself by avoidance, eating or ignorance.  I don't want people to see me pretending to be something else.

"You are already a person who is deeply pleasing to God."

Everything about me--the core of who I am--already pleases God.  After all, He made me, right?  Did he not mean to make me the way I am?  Did He not give me emotions to walk through?  Did he not give me convictions to share?  Did he not give me a family to fully love?  Did he not allow me imperfections in this life so that I can see his goodness "in the land of the living"?

What am I thinking trying to hide everything about who I am?  It is for His glory that he has created me.  I am called to live life to the fullest--it is a gift from the Creator of this world.  Whatever my life is full of in the moment, I'm called to live it--not stuff it, ignore it or numb it. 

So back to authenticity.  Back to reality.  Back to imperfections and joyous occasions.  Back to real life.

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